One Damned Funny Blog

Love, laughter and autism.

Saturday, August 26, 2006

WalMart

Okay, so what the hell IS it with WalMart employees and inappropriate non-parental comments, anyway?

I am afraid to set wallet--I mean foot--into that freaking store anymore. I never get more than ten feet into that place without a look or comment from SOMEBODY on how unbelievably hateful my children are and what a suck-ey mom I am.

And you know what? It's not the bad-haired, half-dressed shoppers I'm talking about here. It's the employees!

If one more WalMart employee shoots evil death-daggers out of her eyes at my son, I will jump her, I swear. Somebody hold me down.

Actually...it's starting to be almost funny. I'm envisioning in my mind the WalMart employment application:

1. Please spell your name. (If you haven't gotten this far in your education yet, just write "Me".)
2. Where do you live? ("I'm currently parked at..." is not an acceptable answer.)
3. When is the last time you got a perm? (Please note that if it was more than three months ago, and/or didn't come from a box on the shelf, you MUST re-perm before submitting this application.)
4. Do you feel all children are evil and vile? Do you believe in corporal punishment? Are you extremely politically incorrect as far as how to address children that you yourself have not given birth to (such as "cry-baby" or "what is WRONG with you, little boy")? Are you absolutely unaware of certain childhood conditions, and completely willing to embarrass yourself by picking on children with disorders? If so...WELCOME TO WALMART! Can you start tomorrow? (That's the date with a "2" and a "7" in it.)

1 Comments:

Blogger little bo peep said...

You're a great writer. Love your blog. Walmart is keraaaaaaaazy!

And thanks for not insisting that I copy those psychedelic letters in order to post my comments - much appreciated.

1:33 PM  

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