One Damned Funny Blog

Love, laughter and autism.

Friday, July 28, 2006

What's not to love?

As August approaches--traditionally, the month that I begin thinking, "Hey, the summer's ending; fall is just around the corner"--I am missing New Jersey like mad.

New Jersey. What's not to love?

Not that Southern California doesn't have its perks. Some positives v. negatives about Cali:

1. Pro: the weather is always the same.
Con: The weather is ALWAYS the same.

2. Pro: People are thinner and more beautiful.
Con: The competition for "smallest waist and biggest boobs" can get pretty steep and can run one up tens of thousands of dollars...or lots of toilet flushes to wash away the bullemic evidence.

3. Pro: It's expensive as hell, which must mean it's a quality place to be, right?
Con: It's expensive as hell. Period.

4. We're only forty miles from Los Angeles!
Con: Those forty miles take an hour and twenty minutes of driving through traffic hell...on a good day.

But what I really miss about New Jersey...and yes, this is a diss to LA...are the trees. The beautiful, big, gorgeous, blooming, expansive green trees with branches that are so fleshed out they touch eachother across the top of the street in summertime. The beautiful deciduous yellows, oranges and crimsons of fall. And yes...even the eerie, Blair-Witch-esque naked branches of winter. (See? She didn't JUST write about crazies.)

Somebody get me back to New Jersey, home of the Devils, the Garden State Parkway and the middle finger**. Please. In time for the mid-October "peak" leaf season, please.


**(Credit to By the way, I think he meant "koochie koochie," not "couchie couchie".)


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