Would you have sex with this man?

God knows I would. Unfortunately, I doubt the feeling would go both ways...at least judging from the way he's holding onto that stick.

Okay...I love this song so much that I am embarrassed and ashamed into dissing the video just as an excuse to post it in my blog. So here goes: Have you EVER seen a worse video? I mean really. It honestly looks like one of those home-grown thingamabobs that people laugh at on YouTube. (Oh, wait. People ARE laughing at this on YouTube.)

Check out how the dude jumps right into the lyrics. No intro. It's a homophobia-inducing hit-and-run! You're left looking left and right and asking the air, "Did I miss the beginning or did they just forget to make one?" Then he drops his Slinky and gets so mad that he's forced to spraypaint his shoes. What IS that? I mean the possibilties for humor here are pretty much limitless.

And wait. Are those men (though I do use the term loosely) wearing...legwarmers? On second glance, no, they're high-tops. It's hard to tell; the whole thing goes by so fast (thank God).

And what about the two little boys slapping eachother? SOMEBODY STOP ME...

I just did an impromptu dance for my husband while singing this song. Just to make sure that he never EVER wants to have sex with me again. Hubby booed my efforts, so I tried out my singing talents on my three-year-old instead. The little guy put his hand over my mouth. (No, I'm not making that up. He did like the video, though. Laughed through the whole damned thing.)

What can I say? I love the 80s. I remember them, sort of...at least when I'm taking my Alzheimer's medication.

LONG LIVE THE 80s!